The more topical your excuse, the more likely it is to be believed. Provided, that is, the excuse isn't Christmas, the miners' strike, or the oil crisis.

Topicality is corroboration. If someone has seen a news report on TV of a ten-mile traffic jam, then they're three-quarters of the way to believing you were stuck in it. If they have read in the papers about a fire that destroyed a dry-cleaner's, they will unquestionably accept that one of the casualties was your dinner jacket without which, at this late hour, you cannot attend the firm's annual dinner-dance tonight.

There is no tragedy, no labour dispute, no event, however small, that cannot provide an alibi for someone wholly unconnected with it. Scan the columns of your local newspaper, sift through the acres of reported affairs in the Daily Telegraph. You are sure to find something that will get you off the hook.

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