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  The Art of Excuses
How to find excuses for every occasion
Being topical
Excuses for being caught in bed with someone
Excuses for being caught lying
Excuses for being caught prying
Excuses for being drunk
Excuses for being late
Excuses for being late for work
Excuses for being overdrawn
Excuses for calling off a wedding
Excuses for cancelling a business date or social engagement
Excuses for computer problems
Excuses for crashing a car
Excuses for declining sex
Excuses for doorstep salesman
Excuses for escaping from a bore
Excuses for events beyond our control
Excuses for failing in business, sport or politics
Excuses for failing to answer a letter or email
Excuses for failing to recognize someone
Excuses for forgetting
Excuses for forgetting someone's name
Excuses for forgetting to invite somebody
Excuses for getting more time
Excuses for hanging a picture upside down
Excuses for having to have a drink
Excuses for illness and injury
Excuses for industrial disputes
Excuses for leaving early
Excuses for non delivery
Excuses for not allowing animals
Excuses for not attending an event
Excuses for not being able to get it up
Excuses for not calling somebody
Excuses for not contributing to whip rounds
Excuses for not dancing
Excuses for not eating food
Excuses for not giving to charity
Excuses for not helping
Excuses for not inviting children
Excuses for not joining in
Excuses for not keeping an appointment
Excuses for not lending money
Excuses for not lending your home
Excuses for not paying a bill
Excuses for not reading an authors book
Excuses for not returning hospitality
Excuses for not turning up
Excuses for not visiting
Excuses for oversleeping
Excuses for personal reasons
Excuses for prearranged phone calls
Excuses for public transport
Excuses for teminating telephone calls
Excuses for the police
Excuses for things lost in the post
Excuses for turning down a pass

 

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