|
Illness has been
dramatically devalued as an excuse by over-use and hypochondria. And also, it
needs to be said, by people with genuine illnesses and injuries fighting bravely
on. Like the actress who died on stage of cancer, and Prince Charles, who attended
an official dinner only hours after falling off his polo pony and suffering cuts
and concussion. They ruin it for the rest of us who have been telling everyone
for years that the reason we couldn't make it was because we had a headache.
As excuses for
failure of any sort, illnesses and injuries can be divided starkly into two: the
acceptable and the downright unbelievable. The latter should be avoided like,
well, the plague:
| ACCEPTABLE
|
UNBELIEVABLE
|
| Hepatitis |
' Flu |
| Mumps (in men)
|
Migraine |
| Suspected heart
attack |
Gastric 'flu |
|
Having a baby (day
before labour only)
|
Slipped disc |
| Any terminal disease |
'Up all night'
|
|
Haemorrhaging from
a coil
|
Period pains |
| Vasectomy stitches
broken |
Running a temperature
|
| Root canal therapy
|
'Some sort of
stomach bug' |
| Viral pneumonia
|
Tennis elbow |
| Any organ 'on
the blink' |
Broken limb |
| Wasp sting inside
mouth |
'Been sick' |
Back
to Art of Excuses Index
|
