The trouble with whip-rounds is that they inevitably become a public scrutiny of how mean or generous you are - when the amount you give is in direct proportion to your affection, esteem, or guilt for the departing colleague.

From time to time, for whatever reason, you will prefer not to contribute so much as one new pee to the farewell present of some odious toadie. Rather than be branded a meanie, all you have to say is: 'I won't contribute to the main present, if you cfon't mincf, because I've bought a little present of my own as a thank you for so many little kindnesses he/she has shown me.' In the euphoria of all the farewell speeches and drinks, no one will discover that you haven't.

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