Nobody likes to be thought tight-fisted, especially if they are. When you decline to make a contribution to a charity, however undeserving the cause, the immediate assumption is that your motive is one of meanness, even if you offer to submit yourself to a body search in the middle of Oxford Circus to prove that you don't have a halfpenny on you.

No, the reason you cannot, will not, give must be founded on the highest principles and you should spell these out to the lady flogging flags: 'Thank you for giving me the opportunity to contribute to your cause but I make it a rule never to support private charities because any donation - however small -would merely encourage the State to evade its responsibilities.'

There is a less tactful response to doorstep appeals by religious sects which will enable you to dispose of your caller without burning the toast. The conversation, brief and to the point, should go like this:

'Good morning. We are Jehovah's Witnesses and

'And you have been collecting money for your worthy cause and you would like to talk to me about it.'

'Yes, we . ..'

'I can't tell you how glad I am that you called. You see, I'm Jehovah. How much have we made so far today?'

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