Kingsley Amis says there is only one acceptable excuse for not having read an author's latest book when the author comes to dinner, and it goes like this:

' Your new novel must be absolutely marvellous because I have now bought it three times, and on every occasion someone has stolen it or borrowed it before I have had a chance to read it.

Tomorrow I am going out to buy a fourth copy, and that's going to be MINE.'

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