Judge: Why
won't you tell the court where you hid the money?
Defendant: What, and let some thief steal it? |
Judge: Why
won't you testify in your own behalf?
Defendant: Even I wouldn't believe a crook like me. |
Judge: You
are accused of assault and battery. You hit your neighbor on the head with a flashlight.
Defendant: Your honor, I think the charge should be reduced to simple assault,
because in this case the batteries were not included. |
Judge: You
are accused with stealing watches and jewelry in addition to money.
Defendant: Yes, Your Honor. I think that money alone can't bring happiness. |
Judge: You
committed six burglaries in one week.
Defendant: That's right. If everyone worked as hard as I do we'd be on the road
to prosperity. |
Judge: You
robbed a bank of half a million dollars.
Defendant: It was out of desperation, Your Honor. I was hungry. |
Judge: You
were associating with a woman who's a known criminal. Do you have an explanation?
Parolee: I'm attracted to a woman with convictions. |
Judge: You're
always seen with known criminals.
Defendant: So are you, but you never get into trouble. |
Lawyer: As
your attorney I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you.
Accused: Thanks. Ten years is plenty. |
Warden: Why
did you try to break out of prison?
Prisoner: I had an overdue library book. |
Warden: Why
did you try to escape with a pencil in your hand?
Prisoner: I was tired of the pen. |
