Motorist: When
I bought this car you told me it was rust-free, but underneath it's covered with
rust
Dealer: Yes, sir. The car is rust-free. We didn't charge you for it, did we? |
Music Critic:
Are you playing the flute?
Musician: No, I'm carving my initials into a drum stick. |
Music Critic:
Why didn't you stretch the notes out a little longer?
Band Leader: I couldn't. This isn't a rubber band. |
Musician 1:
How did you get the people next door to stop complaining about your violin playing?
Musician 2: I started playing the drum. |
My dumb cousin
has been making chocolate cookies.
How can you tell?
There are M&M shells all over the floor. |
Newsman: Why
are your weather forecasts never right?
WeatherMan: I don't want to break my streak. |
Oh, no, I forgot
to bring my mittens.
Why didn't you tie a string around your finger?
Because a string won't keep my hands warm. |
Older Brother:
How can you be such a perfect idiot?
Younger Brother: I practice a lot watching you. |
Out-of-Towner:
What kind of weather did you have yesterday?
Local Resident: I don't know. It was so foggy I couldn't tell. |
Priest: Do
you say a prayer every night?
Boy: No, my mother says one for me.
Priest: What does she say?
Boy: "Thank God he's in bed." |
