Mother: Why
is the TV on so loud?
Babysitter: It drowns out the crying. |
Mother: Why
is there a goat in the house?
Daughter: You said we needed a nanny. |
Mother: Why
is there a strange baby in the crib?
Daughter: You told me to change the baby. |
Mother: Why
was the phone busy all night?
Babysitter: The fire department put me on hold. |
Mother: Why
were you kissing your boyfriend in front of the children?
Babysitter: You said you didn't want them watching TV. |
Mother: You
don't seem to know which side your bread is buttered on.
Child: It doesn't matter, I eat both sides. |
Mother: You
seem to be a bad student at school.
Son: Yes, but I'm a whiz at recess. |
Mother: You
were absent on the day of the test?
Son: No, but the kid who sits next to me was. |
Mother: You
were supposed to come home from the ballgame in one hour.
Son: Sorry, it wasn't my fault. I tried to steal home in the fifth inning but
they wouldn't let me. |
Mother: Your
grades are terrible. You have nothing but C's and D's on your report card.
Daughter: Those aren't grades. They're vitamin deficiencies. |
Mother: Your
homework is all wrong. Didn't your father help you?
Child: Yes, and that's why. |
Mother: Your
report card doesn't look good to me.
Son: My grades reflect the shocking inadequacy of the school system. |
Mother: Your
report card is terrible.
Daughter: I know. I wish they had a subject called TV. |
Son: I'm too
tired to do my homework tonight.
Mother: A little hard work never killed anybody.
Son: Then why should I be the first? |
