I needed to know it, but I didn't learn it in kindergarten.

I love too much.

I learned the wrong seven habits.

I got severe tire damage on the road less traveled.

I went through the wrong twelve steps.

I'm hooked on phonics.

My higher self was feeling low.

The chicken soup for my soul was contaminated with E. Coli.

I'm okay...You're nuts.

I'm disfuncted up.

Someone slipped me some bad affirmations.

'L. Ron Hubbard?' I've been reading 'Old Mother Hubbard!'

I'm one of those good people bad things happen to.

When you run with the wolves, you step in wolf doo-doo.